There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
