Well apparently he's into motor boating.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
