My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
