So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
