remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
if only i could text you this smell
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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