2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
