Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
