So drunk its hurt
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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