what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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