On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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