So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
