i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
