He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
