Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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