Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
