my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize