she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
