Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
one two three fourrrrnication!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize