I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize