she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
