I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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