oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
