my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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