How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
