i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
