I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
