"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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