Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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