gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
