Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
