I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
