i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
