Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
