Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
