I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
