who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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