spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
