Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
