don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
