Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
