I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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