These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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