So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
