since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
