just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
