The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
