I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
