Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
