I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
