I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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