i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
