No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
