So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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