Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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