At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
