you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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