I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
