best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
