I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
