Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
