Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
