I just pynch a tree in the face
I cannot find my penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
