Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bigred7892 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

Fav 36 1642 4565
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.

Fav 28 1693 5215
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

Fav 26 1630 5128
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

Fav 27 5306 1920
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

Fav 36 1417 7572
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

Fav 3 2975 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

Fav 6 2507 943
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.

Fav 2 635 479
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.

Fav 1 28 54
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT