Have you finally orgasmed yet?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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