sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
